We are living in a strange time. Everyone is scared to behave normally, to feel something. Everyone is wearing the mask, which is rarely laid aside. We are scared to even say I love you, but on the contrary we are not afraid to talk about sex, about the things we like, even when they are not conventional. Somebody is gay, straight, and asexual; who cares? It is all the matter of the bed.
Let’s explore this strange evolution. I often hear I act like a frozen queen - no emotions at all, that I am shallow, severe, mean and hostile, arrogant. Maybe it is my mask, but maybe, it is just a shell that should protect me from whatever could happen. This could be explained by my zodiac sign – cancer. But to be honest, I am just scared to feel, as everyone; scared to fall in love with somebody, who just doesn’t deserve it. But on the other side, I could be happy, when you just tell me you like me, appreciate my cooking, and tell me I am the one. I think that I not a high price for love. I do not need to hear the iloveyou sentence every day, but I need to hear it at the right moment.
When I was at the grammar school, I had a classmate- John, who was so scared to be bonded to someone, to must love someone that he stacked in the position, when he just had sex, nothing else. Every weekend a new girl appeared. Then, finally, he fell in love with a girl, who did not want to sleep with him. And he was caught by this strange philosophy to found out, that it was not just a game. He was in love with a girl, who was frigid, and this love happened several years.
Anyway, some time ago, I met John on my way to a little village, where my parents live. He was so different from the John I used to know. He said he was working in the bar, as a bartender, he was studying a school, although it was private, and, the most important finding was that he was actually living with a girl, older girl, who he loved and said that, eventually, he wanted to have a kid with her. Now I am asking what happened. How is that possible? Maybe he just had grown up.
So, the essential question is: „Is everyone eventually going to grow up?”
